consistently inconsistent

An Update

I hung out with Jeis, Melissa, Calvin, Christine, and Blaine one last time at Jeisler’s house. On the way, Blaine and I picked up some McDonalds (as is customary when going to Jeisler’s house), and when we pulled up to the driveway, I found it rather disconcerting that the garage actually had cars in it and not the carpet with our tinikling sticks on top. We weren’t here for tinikling practice; we were here for one last gathering before they all leave for UIC tomorrow. How depressing.

We watched tv for a while, waiting for Cal and Melissa to show up, and then ate lunch. We played apples to apples until we all got tired of it, and then Jeisler took out these Jelly Beans. You know those Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Jelly Beans from Harry Potter? Well, this was like that. Only worse. Because the flavors actually did taste as nasty as earwax or vomit or whatever they decided with which to sicken you. The first jelly bean I chose was blue colored and it was either toothpaste or berry. It was toothpaste. Okay, that was fine. The next one I pulled out was an orange one — either vomit or peach. It was the most sickening thing I’ve ever tasted. It made me want to cry.

Anyway. Jeisler handed us these personal letters, and gave us a blank apples to apples card. But, he wrote our names as the subject of the card. Mine had my name and in the description “greatest person to talk to, about anything.” Perhaps one of the most touching and creative gifts I’ve ever gotten.

After that, it was a horrible 15 or so minutes of needing to leave but not wanting to because this was the last time we’d see each other for a while.We eventually said our goodbyes, after multiple hugs, reassurances of keeping in touch and seeing each other during breaks, and then more hugging.

Blaine and I went to dinner with my family to The Cheesecake Factory, and they gave Blaine this card that had these personal notes.

When we got home, my parents decided that they would say goodbye to Blaine then, because he’s leaving the day after tomorrow and they probably wouldn’t see him. I think this is where it hit me — that we’re all going away to college. I felt sad, of course, earlier with Jeisler and the gang. But now, it’s hit me that everyone’s leaving and I’m still going to be stuck here in Gurnee for another two weeks. …I think I may develop an abandonment complex.

With Jonathan and Steven gone, Melissa, Cal, and Jeisler tomorrow, and soon Blaine and Kim, the loneliness is starting to set in…